Thursday, May 5, 2011

50511



can't say good morning.

today's definitely a bad day for science. i have such a wierd life, i tell you! when i'm not sleeping in the nights and meowing (i invented this word right now, don't judge) in the daylight i rarely have pains. now when i'm in a sort of rehab and i'm doing my best to try to sleep during the nights i wake up with a headache like i've been drinking since Middleton's wedding. perfect!
i have so so many ideas in my head, so many things to write down, so many places and faces i would want to capture, but i can't seem to convince my mom to help me with the money for a dslr :( and with the writing, well, i was thinking for such a long long time on writing almost each day, maybe many times a day, depending on what happens, what feelings come between, i think it could be something positive for the heart, yet, i would also like to start talking to... anyone who happens to get lost in my tiny home, here, like i call it. i never dared to write/talk like i was talking to "you", cause i feel/felt "guilty" in some way and i always said to me that i just hope that between what i show through pictures and a few words there would be somebody out there who will feel the same or find itself in what i feel/show and share with me its feelings.
but that's just one thought in my head.

i'm off to the shower now, today's the last but one course at the mfcts masters this year and yesterday i had to deliver two twisted projects and we'll see how it turned out. hope it will be ok, the same as i wish for those who will "jetland" here. feel free to share how was your morning and the rest of the day here. i would be delighted

6 comments:

ByBag said...

Well, I'm just like you, you know? I feel the same.
This morning I was created in my mind a text to send on the 11 of June. I finally finished it. It is short.
Then I was thinking of my future life, with a baby, or without in the next 9 months.
but I know that in the morning i'm more clear, lucid than night.
You should pu a smile on your face.
have a beautiful day.
Andra

colorsdiary said...

uhm, my morning started with a feeling of dizziness. every time i have to go to work after some days off I seem to lose any enthusiasm. once I get there, everything changes because work keeps me busy and i keep out from thinking to something else :) the rest of the day was spent reading about 149 emails and trying to answer...
denise

inima said...

My day was better than yesterday, when I cried all day long! Today I am missing my boyfriend who's in another city in college. I see him once a week, twice if lucky, we spend some weekends together and stuff, but I have moments when I miss him insanely! And today I am thinking again, like everyday, at myself, how I hate the way I look and feel and I fail everytime I try to do something about it. And I'm creeping out about my exams.

I'm sorry for saying all these things, but I just felt like it, and you, indirectly, asked.. kind of.

a dreamer. said...

inima, don't worry, i'm honored that you felt secure enough to open up about your feelings here. many people lock theirselves up, which i find proper only in half of the times, because there are really out there people who we can trust and rely upon. those are rare cases, unfortunately, but you can always find one here.
even if it seems hard to believe, i understand 100% how you feel, even more, my ex-boyfriend was in Italy half of the time we were together, so imagine the first month after he left, a dreamer insanely buying phone cards to call him each day and cry each day, because i was remembering the beautiful times we spent together and how much i was missing him.
see who's talking too much now? :)
in the end you just have to learn to pack yourself up and each time you feel like crashing into tears, think that you are grateful and lucky to have him for good now, that nothing bad or twisted is between you and that the moments when you become reunited are so so sweeter than before.
try to teach yourself composure in the light way and in time it will be easier.

also remember that soon college will be over and things will be fine again, ok?
dearest,
>:d<

a dreamer. said...

andra, i'm sorry for my humble understanding, but you're talking about the baby as in future plans or you're actually having one?
i'm glad you are strong enough to balance your feelings and thoughts.
personally, i'm still learning.
hope you also had a beautiful day!

and thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts here.

a dreamer. said...

well, denise, as i said once, you're a lucky girl, cause even if not all things work out quite nice in the mornings or some time, you get to interact with your colleagues, work on something or just get lost into what's happening on other plans over there. i consider that a luck.
but i do relate to your dizziness, that happens to me all the time after i come back from a trip, from a different space. i feel like floating.

so i think it's good that in the meantime it doesn't get worst.