Tuesday, May 17, 2011

self service

after another (again, again) white night, after giving bibi her favourite food, while making a slice of butterbread, i couldn't help thinking, since the last sad event, about changes in our life. and i'm scared to admit that sooner or later our most important things and people in our daily life will go away or take a break, in a way or another. i am the first to hate it, i am the first who would give anything to make it different. it's not the change that i'm afrade of, it's probably... the pain that will come after, it's about why does it have to change, if everything is going well the way it is, why does this rule exist?
probably i'm already sounding like talking stupid or corny stuff, no, i'm not the one being smart and hot and unable to touch and see and writing about it in a sparkling way, but why life slams you in front of situations in which you have to sort of erase the bad and start again "empty handed"in 3-4 days, almost like nothing ever happened? i know, you learn from experience, but does it always have to cost the things or people you love and your feelings?

really, life should come with an instructions manual.


kiran said...

''really, life should come with an instructions manual.''

sigh. so, so true.


colorsdiary said...

sometimes I get to hate learning from experience so bad... but hey, we just have to breath and reboot, no choice...


a dreamer. said...

denise, true, but why are we pushed in front of difficult situations and have to handle them in such short time? we were 'built' humans, in the end, no? With heart and emotions, not machines. i will probably never understand why harmless and good people have to go and bad things and people have 'the right' to remain and enjoy.

And by difficult situations i mean when someone takes his own life (no, not because of money, or love, or nothing).
in these situations i get to feel like crap and guilty even wanting something normal for above the average people and i can't that easily: a simple perfume.
(just as an example)

Domnisoara Babacilu said...

ah, when life releases that manual, save me a copy!

your post makes me think of La dolce vita, i was so shocked when i read the book in highschool, at the country side, surrounded by love and nature, i thought it would be a delightful book for my mood but i was wrong, it was so sad and i was very confused about all that happened. Well, that's actually life, everyday it's a challenge and at some point, experience indeed counts..Probably because it makes one stronger and wise or at least gives you some directions..

hug :*

colorsdiary said...

i think that we are pushed to test our limits in different situations and also that karma is not human, not at all

a dreamer. said...

miss B, it is important, but why with such high price? what's so good about to making you stronger when you loose one of the most important people in your life?

i just don't see it.
and i don't get the "order" in this world.
and God forgive me for saying these things.

a dreamer. said...

denise, you're right. karma's a bad player.
but often guilt comes in situations when "we" search beautiful and cool and hype things to fulfill our needs while others, hey, they're dying or struggle with ugly situations. i often blaim myself for trying to pass throught periods being "shallow", cause then you're superficial enough to not feel so worse.

anyways, i'll end this. i'm sorry girls that this post reminded you of sad things but i couldn't help it when this happens all around us, just like when i'm shopping between cute stuff and i hear the ambulance and i remain still for a while, numbed.

celine said...

you are so right, raluca, today i found out that a friend's mum died a day ago and i cant stop thinking i have a mum and she's away, and all my family's away and sometimes we dont get to say goodbye, we dont get to say i love you, and is hard and almost impossible to look further, take a breath and move on. this life is so unsuitable for me. thanks for your thoughts x