october's almost gone, autumn fall's into winter too soon, it's cold till the bones, i wish flowers would stay alive longer in my room, i wish i could keep all of them forever, i love my marble screensaver, i admire how each inch of green is poetic and curved, like my hips, only mine's still have a long way till their scale of beauty and i have the desire again to write and (hopefully) receive more and more sincere and simple letters.
i wanted to write so much, had a lot in my head and now i ride a wooden swing, it's 20:00 sharp and i'm happy i finally found the perfect long cardi from villa, even if my shoulders are cold now.
i was also happy today that the sun captured my imperfect face and warmed me a bit, i'm glad it's autumn and.. a lot has happened.
it's been 8 months since i changed my life completely and due to this my body didn't knew how to handle the toxins that needed to get out of the system and i got sick.
today it's been 1 week since i entered surgery and i was unconscious for almost 24 hours. i'm still dizzy from all that has happened lately, so fast, from one hospital to another, from a city to another, that now i am trying to regain my peace, my discipline, my path again.
i have been to different places, saw many faces, good ones, bad ones and i know now more than ever that i can't wait to move to a different city, country, find a place of my own, build my home from scratch, a white universe full of light and continue to educate the self to be peaceful, patient, gentle, tender and perhaps to have with whom to share the good that comes with it all.
i know it can happen.
piece by piece.
just like i found this beautiful white rose in my grandma's backyard, where there is little light and nobody knew something could bloom.
2 weeks have passed since i wrote this and haven't had the courage to post it. but it's here that i have my space so this is where it belongs.
today i gathered the photos i made to the happiness grandma info'ed me over the phone when she received the package that came all the way from antwerp.
how could i not be genuinely grateful and happy because a human being that lives 1.990 km away remembered my wishes and made them come true ?
with a bit of red on my cheeks, as usual, i'm still collecting my love for tea and cups and all sorts of pretty kitchen thingies and each time i'm holding the little roses, i'm smiling on the inside that there are kind people in many places and i'm lucky enough to know at least a few.
no, it's not a cheesy post, it's a realistic one.
(r, apologies for not having higher quality photos, i'll have that canon 5dII some day!)